My personal psychic experiences

Another psychic attack story.

Back in 95, I had finally left one psychic healer and went on to see another. I’ll call her MJ, as those were her initials. By that time, I had really started to become in tune with my intuition, and I knew that I should go and see her. Not because of the healing (or lack of it) she would try and do, but because she would introduce me to another person who would have a great impact on my life.

Her name was Renee, and I met her while MJ was trying to convince us to board with her. She was looking for tenant to help her support her rent, but she also wanted both of us under her wing, as she, unlike few others at the time, saw our potentials. MJ came across as a control freak, and had, on several occasions attempted to gain control over my life. However, I resisted. I knew MJ from 1983. She was the only psychic person I had met until 1994. Unfortunately, she never took responsibility for her own actions and her ego would never let her admit she was wrong, or something was of her own doing. I lost contact with her for many years, and then in 95, she contacted my mother and asked if she could talk to me. I agreed, and ended up going to her place for a visit. I found she was extremely psychic, and I hoped she had changed. She told me to come and see her as she could help me. As I was seeing another healer at the time, it was another 6 months before I did so.

It was at the start of 96 when I met Renee. I found out that she was a masseuse and was offering cheap massages at home. (I seem to have a history of being drawn to people who do massages!)  I indicated that I was interested, and left my number with her.

I had a couple of massages from her at the house she was then living at. During the second massage, I noticed that she was reading The Celestine Prophecy. She mentioned that her healing circle was studying it, and that anyone was welcome to come along. I indicated that I would be, and made arrangements to go the next fortnight, as it was a fortnightly thing.

The next fortnight, it doubled as a birthday party for a young lady called Natalie. She had just turned 18, and she was the most beautiful person I had laid eyes on. Her spirituality shone right through. I also felt some kind of connection with her, though I couldn’t identify it.

I was welcomed to the circle, and told that I would be welcome to join, so I did. As I was the only male, my male energy was appreciated. The circle seemed to have about 8 ladies of various ages. All of them very spiritual.

Sometime during that circle, she was chatting to me and told me how the previous night, she has been in her bedroom, and felt something come from the hallway and enter into her shoulder. There wasn’t much I could say to that, but this is where I suspect things became interesting.

The following fortnight, Renee rang me up, and told me that she wanted to postpone my massage as she wanted to move the next day. Strangely enough, she had no other house in mind, nor did she had any way of moving. She mentioned that she was looking for a boy to help her move, though I think she never realised she said it. Intuition prompted me to offer my help, which she readily accepted. We still went to the healing circle that afternoon, and she said she would contact me the next day to let me know what was going on.

The next morning, she rang me up, and I could tell she was very distressed. The house that she had looked at wasn’t really suitable, and there was another house that she needed to see, but she didn’t have any transport up there. So I offered to help her for the whole day

I left quickly, and was there within minutes. She then told me a story about how she was under psychic attack from within the house. I walked into the place, and felt the familiar static feeling of some presence. I could see she was sinking fast, and couldn’t bear the thought of spending even just one more night in the house. She had already packed most of her stuff, even though she had nowhere to go yet.

She did have one place to look at. A friend of one of the person’s at the healing circle. Her name was Veronica, and I drove her up there, only to find it was in the middle of major renovations.

During the drive, I had told Renee the phoenix story, or as much as I had gotten at that ponit of time. The reason I did that was because at the healing circle, the day before, I had looked at her, and suddenly, I realized that I knew her from somewhere. But it wasn’t anything in this life, it was more a feeling that we had already met before.

Renee seemed to readily accept that story, and even went as far to say that she felt an affinity with ancient Egypt and might have had even something to do with my downfall. That was interesting within itself.

We went around the back to a small, but comfortable looking bungalow. It contained only room for a bed, but had an ensuite. She noticed that the bed quilt was an Egyptian design. That was so bizarrely coincidental, almost like a message.

Still, she sat down defeated, and said that it was way too small. She was on the verge of tears, but I suggested that she ask Veronica if she might use another room in the house. I told her she had nothing to lose.

She did that. Veronica, a remarkable woman, and a psychologist, told her that if she moved in, her house would be Renee’s house, and there was a spare room that she was welcome to use. The clinched it for her, and she asked if she might move in that very same day.

It was all agreed, and I drove up the bulk of her belongings up to her new home. She was grateful, and bought me dinner. And that was the start of a friendship.

It was another week before I heard from her. I was just about to start holidays from work when she rang me up on a Saturday morning. We spoke for about an hour, and we got along fairly well. She said that she had spent the best part of the week fighting off an attack. This did take me by surprise, as I thought that once she left the house, they would have ceased. Things are never that simple, though.

She also told me about a drumming night the coming Thursday, and a festival called Back To Earth Confest, which was to be held over the Easter Week end. The confest was a big camp out in the hippie style of the 60s and 70s. It was about getting back to nature, but it was more about just getting stoned from what I saw.

She told me was I welcome to come with her, and a few of her friends. She said she’d ring me the next day, and perhaps we’d go out to dinner or something.

She did that, and we went to some place in the city. I stayed till fairly late, and she asked me for my opinion about everything under the sun. What I felt about certain objects, how much she should sell her furniture for, etc.

Before I go on, I must say that Renee wasn’t my ideal person. There wasn’t any real thoughts of forming a relationship with her more than friendship. She was, well, too masculine for me. She was a very pretty girl, and she had a good figure. She was shorter than me, and very esoterically inclined. But there was something about her face, and her voice that made me back away. She wasn’t very feminine. At times, I sensed that she might have been expecting me to do something, but intuition said no. We did hug, though, and it was one of those long, close hugs that can be so empowering. Once we almost did kiss. It was after a drumming night, and I was dropping her home. Somehow, our lips almost met, but missed. I know that should I had kissed her, our relationship would have moved on to another level. Not a good thing considering everything that happened.

Just before I left for the drumming, a very strange incident occurred. It was dark by the time I was ready to leave, and I went down to my computer room to pick up something. As I was about to enter the room, I noticed that the curtains appeared to be moving, as if they were being blown by the wind. But I knew that was impossible as there was nowhere for a wind appear.

I took a closer look, and my heart almost skipped a beat as I found myself staring at a small face. At first, I thought someone was in my room, and was acting in a deranged manner. But I stood my ground, and took out my pocket torch, and shone it onto the face. It turned out to be a possum! A baby one at that! But how one had found its way into my room, which was sealed up tight, was a real mystery.

I entered the room, and turned on the lights. I realised that I couldn’t remove it without it biting me, and I had no time to mess around. So I decided I would deal with it after I came back. So I left it clinging to my curtains.

The meditation itself was interesting. During it, we were asked to look into a river, and look at what we saw. I saw Phoenix rising. Also, we were told to look for a rabbit, but I saw the baby possum instead.

When I got home, I went down to the computer room, and found that the possum had moved. I quickly found it snuggling next to my computer case! I could hardly believe it. It was resting just on my mouse cord, and looking as cute and as peaceful as it could. And even when I booted up my PC, and started typing away to my IRC friends, it didn’t move away.

I asked the people on IRC what I should do. All I got was lots of laughter, and incredulous comments. They hardly believed me. After about half an hour, I realised that I couldn’t leave the possum where it was because I was afraid it might starve. It was still resting against the case, and I knew I had to free it. So, I emptied a tissue box, put my mouse mat underneath, and put the box on top. It hardly resisted! I quickly took it outside and set it free. The message of the possum was lost on me until a few days later.

The next day, we left for the Confest. Things went pretty smoothly for the trip up. I met another friend of hers called Cherie and a client of hers, and we drove up to border of  New South Wales . It was about a three hour trip, and it was pretty good.

The strange thing was, the moment we entered the confest, things changed. And I was about to experience a major death and rebirth!

The thing about Renee was that we seemed to have so much in common. We felt the same way about things and issues, seemed to think the same thoughts, and seemed to connect with whatever I would talk about. However, there was something about her that made a cringe a little inside. It was a distinct lack of warmth and compassion on a unconscious level, and while she was very warm on the surface, there was something very detached about her.

Once we entered the confest, it was another world. I immediately became ungrounded. Something that Cherie noticed, and God bless her, gave me support on. It was already dark, and the last time I helped set up a tent was back at Wilson ’s Promitary back in 1980. It was a rather messy start, and I noticed that Renee hadn’t said more than two words to me. She was very chatty with her girlfriends, and seemed to segregate me, making me feel like I was an intruder. Cherie was wonderful, as she recognized that I was ‘leaving my body’ to cope, which is my automatic reaction to problems, and tried to make me join in. However, the whole experience was overwhelming.

I was in an environment where anything went. Well, just about anything, and I felt that I didn’t belong, though I didn’t understand the reason why.

To make matters worse, they all started to smoke a joint, and that made it isolate me more, as people tend to go on into their worlds after smoking dope. Part of me was amazed that these spiritual people didn’t know enough to understand that drugs would only hurt them, and their development. I walked away in amazement, and realised that having powers, being spiritual, and being enlightened where three completely separate things.

During the night, I watched as a tent caught fire, and burn down. Not one of ours, but an unsettling experience nonetheless. And then the rain began. A constant drizzle that wasn’t about to let up until midday the next day.

I hadn’t eaten much, or drunk much, and I didn’t feel much like doing it. By midnight , Cherie, announced that she, Kirsten (her client), and Renee were going for a smudge, which is an aura cleansing ritual. I said, I’d join them shortly, but when I followed them, I somehow lost them.

I was feeling absolutely awful. Everything was magnified way beyond normal, and I sat in my tent and decided that when Renee returned, I would explain how I was feeling. I reflected on how this seemed to be a cycle of some sorts, with Nancy being the previous one. I also realised that Nancy had lost her spirituality to a large degree, and had warned Renee about that trap on the drive up there. She dismissed it as ‘it couldn’t happen to her’.

About a dozen times, I walked to the place where they said they would meet, but I was unable to find them. The ground was becoming very muddy, and slippery. Finally, at around 2:30 , they returned. I got out of my tent, and approached them. I asked if I could have a brief talk to both Renee and Cherie. They agreed. We sat on a log, and I explained that since she had gotten there, Renee had not said two words to me, and I wondered if I was intruding on her and her friends.

She threw it all back to me saying that five thousand people in the camp out, and I was feeling alone! I told her that this wasn’t the issue, it was that I didn’t want to be around people where I didn’t feel welcome. She kept on insisting that it was my problem, and just got aggravated. I felt that she refused to understand what I was saying, and wasn’t the least bit compassionate about what I was going through.

Then I told her that I tried to find them before, and she went on about how she had been looking for me! And I had made them miss out some drumming mediation and how they had spent ages looking for me. I knew this to be a lie as I had basically remained where I was. But I let it go. In the end, we agreed to disagree, sort of, and I hoped that morning would be a better start.

The rain continued on throughout the night, and upon waking, I discovered that water had leaked in on one corner, and drenched my belongings. I decided at the point, that today was going to be the best time to leave, instead of the following night.

A few hours later, Cherie arose, but the others were still resting. I went with her to get some breakfast, though I didn’t eat anything. I asked her if I had made them miss out on the drumming mediation, and, though she was unclear about the details, because she was stoned, she made it clear that the drumming was already closed, and in fact, they had seen me pass by several times during their smudge. Renee had blatantly lied, and this made me wonder a little...

Renee was still ignoring me, and I was starting the feel the effects of lack of food and fluids. By midday , I announced that the rain had washed out my enthusiasm, and I was heading back home. Fortunately, they didn’t need a lift in my car. Cherie tried to convince me to stay, but my inner voice was prompting me that now was the time to move on.

After several, long, muddy, trip to my car to put my stuff there, Renee said that she wanted her tape (one she had brought with her for the trip up) from my car so she’d have something to listen to on the way back. So she accompanied me back to the car with some guy. I wasn’t feeling good at all, but she was sliding through the mud arm in arm with this guy, and laughing and having a great old time. I thought: how tactless! Finally, I reached my car, and she said she’d contact me later, and left.

I got immediately bogged trying to drive out, but a few people turned up and helped me move the car. Once I was on my way, I felt absolutely awful. I reflected on the way things had turned out. I also realised that there was no way I could be friends with Renee after this.

It was Easter Sunday, and it was a long drive home. I kept on mulling things over and over in my mind. Finally, one thought crystallized. “Why couldn’t I be having fun, sliding through the mud with Renee, instead of that guy!”

And suddenly, like a flash of lightning, I finally had the answer to what one of my problems had been for all those years! My inner child was paralyzed! Not just repressed, but totally paralyzed. Afraid to have fun, to be spontaneous, to laugh, to get dirty, to act natural, and every other child like response. Years of repression from my father had taken its toll, and further years of trying to do the right things, based on a belief system borne from Rampa’s books,  had caused further damage.

Something shifted inside. Suddenly, I was completely energized. I was smiling from ear to ear. I felt great! And I understood that the reason I had spend so many years being rejected by people was because I had been rejecting me at a very deep level.

The message of the possum was now clear, though I didn’t make the connection until later. The possum was my inner child, trapped in a dark room. It was up to me to free it and let it go. The interesting thing, upon reading the follow up to The Celestine Prophecy, the 10th insight, it said that the appearance of animals in our lives was the highest of coincidences, and they told us about what parts we needed to get in touch with within ourselves.

The rest of the trip home was great. In fact, I felt like turning around and rejoining them, but my clothes were still wet, and I wasn’t sure if I could find my way back in any case.

The next day, I left a message for Renee to contact me, and I also left a message for Cherie to let her know about the break through. I was on cloud nine because I knew this would be a permanent, life changing realization.[1] I also understood Renee’s part in it. Without her, I wouldn’t have been driven to the point where something had to break. And the lack of food and liquid had magnified everything to a much greater degree.

I discovered later that they had stayed an extra night, and ironically, Cherie and the others had gone off and done their own things, leaving Renee to do things for herself. Ah, sweet irony. And she wasn’t too happy about it either!

She rang me up, returning my message, when she returned, and I excitedly told her about what had happened. Yes, I allowed myself to get excited. Something that I had repressed previously. She was excited for me, and really happy. I had to drop off a tent I had taken back for them at the practice, and when I saw her, she gave me a hug, and I picked her up and spun her around!

The inner child was out, and now all it needed was nurturing. I was on holidays, and all was right! And then the psychic attacks began...

It was Saturday before she rang me up. She had just gotten off the phone from her mother in Adelaide , and had tried to organize to have her cat brought over from there. But her mother had refused, so Renee had decided to go over herself and  kidnap it.  She immediately rang me, and asked if I would give her a lift to the airport. I said it wasn’t a problem, and we just chatted. Eventually, she was so impressed by the change in me, that she asked if I wanted to go to a drumming dance night with her that night. I quickly agreed, and we went and had dinner first. It was a good night. Renee thought so, too, and when I had dropped her off, she asked if I wanted to go to the markets with her the next day. I agreed, of course.

I spend the entire day with her, and left late at night. I was like a child again, and just enjoying life.

We agreed that on Tuesday, it would be good time to see a movie. I would pick her up from work, as I had arranged to have Ian look at my shoulder, then we’d eat, then see one. We did just.

For some reason, we both had difficulty breathing. It wasn’t asthma, but it was shortness of breath. We both said we felt it was psychic attack, and Renee was convinced that the source was MJ!  We concentrated on overcoming it, and we did.

Afterwards, I drove her home, and we spent hours just talking in the car. It was on a very high level, the things that we spoke about, and we concluded that there were certain things that we needed each other for to make happen. She then said: “If I need you to achieve certain things, and you need me to achieve certain things, our friendship is then going to be tested.” It had already been once, and she suspected a second test. I hoped that wouldn’t be the case as it seemed pretty pointless. I finally left at 2:30 a.m. , thankful for my holidays. I had agreed to meet her the next day, and do something.

I guess, it was very subtle, but it was at that point the psychic attacks began to make their presence felt. The next day, I rang her, and she told me that there was a very sick lady, who was diagnosed with pneumonia, Bronchial asthma, and the flu, who had asked her for her help. Cath was her name, and from all accounts, she was a very knowledgeable person. She asked if I would help her and drive her around there for her to give a treatment. Naturally, I agreed.

She also told me that she was having problems with a friend of hers, Sharana, and she had somehow misplaced her address book. We both  felt it might had been in the local shopping centre, and after shopping, she mentioned that each time she kept on forgetting to go and look for it. She felt that it wasn’t meant to be, but I said that it was the psychic attack. We both, once again, were suffering from shortness of breath, even though we didn’t know that each other had it at the time. I insisted that she go and look, and she went up to lost property, where she found it.

I had a session booked that night with MJ, but I didn’t feel good about going. Somehow, I felt that MJ would warn me off in regards to Renee, and somehow, I felt she was tied up in it all, though I just wasn’t sure in what way. My inner voice warned me that I was dealing with powers that I didn't understand, and to beware.

The intriguing thing about this was that Renee was convinced that MJ was attacking her psychically. I could only agree that something was going on. What I didn't realise was that Renee had taken it into her head to attack MJ on the same level.

You see, at the first circle I went to, there was a general discussion about how MJ was being very unprofessional, talking about other clients during a session, and just being on her high horse. I thought to myself: Hello, nothing's really changed in all those years. She still hasn't learned her lessons. And, from what they told me, money was her motivating factor.

On the way up to the confest, Renee had told me that Natalie was about to move into MJ’s place, and she felt it was because the rent money would be useful to her. As Natalie was also a patient of her, she was in a position to influence what she did. Well, she was determined to stop that from happening. She was going to talk to Natalie, and convince her to look at another place.

However, by the time she had gotten back from the camp out, the move had been made, and it was too late.

To me, Renee seemed to take an almost obsessive view of Natalie's future, something that should have rung warning bells, but I was too trusting, believing that she was acting in her right mind.

Something else I noticed was that Renee seemed almost obsessed at some level about making MJ’s business fail. Whenever she spoke of her, it was in such hateful tones. I theorized that if MJ was behind the attacks, it was because her automatic defences were kicking in.

That afternoon, we made a large pot of broth, completely vegetarian, but full of every conceivable vegetable and spice. The plan was to make enough food for Cath and give her some nurturing. Apparently, she was badly in need of some.

Renee thought about everything. Candles, Aura lights, Animal cards, books, and even bought a couple of hot water bottles. I had already worked out where to go, and it turned out it wasn't that far away. However, there were problems. Renee was starting to freak out a little, and we reached the area, there was a total blackout.

The house was hidden away in a court setting, and was very difficult to find in the dark. Renee was acting all agitated, and as she was walking ahead of me, I noticed that she dropped her purse. Luckily for her, I was around to pick it up.

She kept on going the wrong way. It was a maze, so suddenly, I felt what the right direction was. I told her to follow me, and we found the unit, just moments before Cath woke up. She had left the front door, open, so entry was not a problem. The first thoughts Cath had that she wouldn’t' be able to use her nebuliser, thanks to there being no power.

I felt, very strongly, that if we had not arrived when we did, she would have panicked, and had an asthma attack which just might have been fatal.

It was a three hour treatment, mostly in the dark. We used the candles to shed some light on things, I helped Renee massage Cath by doing her hands and feet. Gradually, her breathing became less raspy, and the symptoms began to subside before our eyes.

She was a women of extraordinary powers and insight. By one look at me, she said that she would be able help me with my kidneys, which I have a known problem with. She said that 20 minutes mediation in the morning, and 20 in the evening; no excuses, was how she had achieved that skill. Renee told her how I had found the house, and Cath responded: "You psychic little possum!" Talk about confirmation.

By the time we left, she was much better, and on the way to recovery. It was another late night for me, as we thought about how crucial the timing had been. We went inside, and did a brief meditation. We ended up laying under the covers of her bed. However, I will point out that absolutely nothing happened.

The next day, Renee rang me up, and told me that Cherie had said how Cath had rung her up the previous morning, and told her that the medication wasn't working, and she didn't think she was going to survive this one. It really hit home to her how easily she might have died. One thing was apparent, once again, she couldn't have done it without me. If she had gone in a taxi, and that was a big if, she wouldn't have found the place in time, anyway. Not to mention me saving her purse.

Renee felt that there had been a massive psychic attack on her, and I could only agree, as the vibrations there were just horrible.

It seemed that every corner I turned, there was a psychic attack lurking there in wait. However, in this case, I wasn't sure who the source was...

The next circle was a couple of days away, and every day, Renee rang me up, and asked if I wanted to come around. I saw her that day, she rang me on Friday, and asked if I wanted to come to a drumming night. I declined, citing that I was going out to dinner. However, I arranged to pick her up from work that afternoon, and drive her home. Then we could go to the circle.

That Saturday, she rang and asked if I was still picking her up, and then launched into how she was under psychic attack once more. She had gotten a lift in, but the car had stopped for no reason, and despite the efforts of a mechanic, no fault could be found. After Renee had departed, however, the car suddenly was working again, and the driver drove off with no further problems.

Also, Natalie had arrived for the night, and was staying in Renee's room. Renee had spend most of the night talking to her, and somehow, had convinced her that MJ was also attacking her, too.

Also, that night, I had been invited to Cherie and her husband’s Ian place, with Renee, for dinner. If I could pinpoint a time where things began to feel wrong, it was then.

Everyone was feeling pretty out of sorts, and Renee and Natalie decided to practice Kinesiology on each other. I wandered in a  few minutes later, and discovered that they seemed to having a hard time. Something bad was going down, but I wasn’t sure what it was all about, except, my inner voice had just warned me that I was under attack myself.

The one thing I couldn’t understand was why MJ would actually attack me. That part didn’t make much sense. The time flew, and the healing circle was just about to begin. As Renee now only lived around the corner from it, it only took a minute for us to drive there.

It was a good, session, except for some reason, both Renee, and Natalie broke into tears. I wasn’t quite sure of the reasons why, but they both were releasing something, especially Natalie. We were currently each doing our time lines, which was tied into the second insight, and each person would take his or her turn, and tell the group their own time line, which was mainly the significant events of their life. Due to my break through, I thought it would be good to consolidate it with explaining my inner child was paralysed.

Interestingly enough, my hard drive had crashed the previous day, and I had managed to save everything, except for my diary entries for 96, and a document I wrote about my inner child. This was too bizarre by half, and I wondered if the attack had anything to do with it.

Upon leaving the circle, I noticed that Renee was very grumpy. She had decided that she would take Natalie along to dinner, too, and rang up Ian and told her she was coming. That wasn’t a problem, but he made a comment on how we’d be expected over half an hour before, and she got very annoyed.

We arrived there shortly after, and the dinner was pretty good, but Renee’s behaviour had really put me ill at ease. I knew something was going on, and I knew that it might be serious. Shortly after arrival, Renee went outside, and let out a big scream to help release tension. I don’t think it helped that much, as she still wasn’t very happy.

That night is something that turned into a healing session. A very traumatic one at that, and I still feel uncomfortable when thinking about it.

In essence, Cherie gave Renee a massage, and before we knew it, she was accessing something deep within her. Something about how she believed she was going mad. We helped her work through it.

It all petered out at around two am . I just wondered what would happen from there. I was still feeling unsettled, and we were all quite on the drive home.

The next afternoon, Renee rang me up, and asked how I was feeling. I explained that I wasn’t feeling that great, and she asked if I’d like to come over. Of course, I did, and Natalie was still with her.

They ended up doing another quick session on me, and we all went out for dinner. After dinner, I helped Renee do a long session on Natalie. During the session, I felt very in tune with what I was doing, and was very clearly able to feel her energy fields with my hands, like I was running it across static electricity. The session once again, lasted for about three hours, and she was feeling much better for it after.

It was Sunday night, and only two days were left of my holidays. They certainly had been busy, and I certainly felt they had been very worthwhile.

The next morning, Renee had arranged for me to drive her to a job interview at a nursing home, and the day after, she asked if I could drive her to Cath’s so she could do another treatment on her. She certainly was making the most of me.

I drove her after to the home, and she got the job.

As I was trying to get my computer fixed, I left, and said I see her the next day. However, she rang me up that night in a panic. She had just tried to ring Natalie, and even though she had left hours before, she still hadn’t arrived home. She asked me what I felt, and to tell the truth, I felt uncomfortable, but it wasn’t because she was living at MJ’s. Still, I couldn’t pinpoint the reason, so I was vague. She asked if I would like to come over and do a healing session on her.

Previously, I had given her a couple of massages, which she seemed to have derived benefits from, and I felt the experience was teaching me a bit about massage.

So, I went around about a nine p.m. , and I gave her a neck, back, and arm massage for a good two and a half hours. She wanted to tell her whatever I felt I should mention, and I ended up telling her that she needed to give herself some space.

I also, mentioned in passing, that she still had a few unresolved issues within, one of them being that she probably harboured some resentment towards her father, who had left her at an early age, and had forced her to be the ‘man’ of the house. She always blamed that as being the reason she was so ‘yang’.

I left around midnight , and she hugged and thanked me, and apologized for being so grumpy lately. I said that I was a friend, and that’s what friends do. She told me to pick her up at ten the following morning.

That was something I wasn’t feeling too good about, but nonetheless, I did just that. Immediately, the moment I walked in, I noticed that something was wrong. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I didn’t get the usual hug hello, and more to the point, she was very snappy towards me. It almost seemed to me as though she was deliberately picking on me.

I drove her to Cath’s, and once out of the car, she walked ahead of me, as though she didn’t want to be in my presence. Something was wrong, but I was more annoyed with her attitude than concerned at that state, especially after all I had recently done for her.

As it turned out, Cath didn’t need any treatment, as she was consolidating some course she had just attended. So, she instead, gave Renee a fascinating talk on old people and what to be aware off. Cath had been a registered nurse, and had also dealt with an agency for old age homes. All through the visit, Renee was cold and sniping towards me.

On the way back, I was driving her to work (she worked as a masseuse for Ian and Cherie at their clinic) but she wanted to be dropped of at the shopping center. Not too much was said. For me, she had snapped once too many times, and I decided that I didn’t deserve that. So I was very quiet, but I didn’t ignore her. When I dropped her off, normally she’ll ask if I want to come along with her, but she said bye and she would ring me soon.

“Whenever,” I replied, perhaps a little too nonchalantly.

“Oh, alright,” she said, in such a way that showed as though she felt that she was intruding. I looked in her eyes, and saw that she was on the verge of tears. She got out, and started to walk. She didn’t give me a hug, which was unusual. She turned back and waved goodbye. I waved back, and saw her face was still suppressing the need to cry. I called her back, and she came, but denied that anything was wrong. I told her that I could see that there was, but she said bye and walked off again.

I jumped out of the car, and rushed after her into a second hand book shop. I asked what was wrong, and she took me outside and said that she needed her own space. I said ‘Fine’ and that ‘I was only a phone call away’, and left. There was nothing more I could do.

I decided that as a gesture of our friendship, I would write a note and send her a bunch of flowers. So I did that. I wrote: “Here are flowers from someone who cares about you,” and signed it. I got someone to drop them off at her work.

That night, I suddenly got the flash that Renee was under a very serious psychic attack. I felt it strongly, and as I couldn’t get through on the phone, I left immediately to warn her.

I had already driven up to her house once that night, to see if she was around, and discovered that she wasn’t home. I suddenly decided to check if the flowers were still at the clinic, and I found that they were. So I dropped them off at her house, in front of her door.

This time when I drove up there, she was home, and I heard her talking to someone from inside. It was Natalie. I had a post-it note with a warning that she was under attack, but I couldn’t just leave it on her door, as it would look stupid. And she had certainly received the flowers, as they were now absent from the doorstep.

So I knocked on the door, and when she opened it, there was anger and resentment in her eyes. So much, that I was taken aback. I apologized for calling so late, but I said that I had a strong feeling that she was in danger. I handed her the note. She sarcastically said: “Tell me something I don’t know.”

I explained that I was going to leave it on her door. She said: Why didn’t you? I fumbled something about intuition.

Then she went on about how I wasn’t listening to her, and denied that she was upset the previous day, and said that she needed space, and that I had been the one who had told her to get some.

The ‘needing space’ story lost all credence, as she was having Natalie staying over night in her small, little room. I mean, she would have had to have sleep in the same bed! Albeit, it was a queen sized one.

I explained that I felt that something had changed between us, and she accused me of being co-dependent. Not a word about the flowers, nor the slightest hint of friendliness or compassion. She soon closed the door in my face, and I walked away.

I waited a week before I decided to try and contact her. In the mean time, I was going through hell myself. Images of scalpels cutting through my wrists, and other nasty thoughts were going through my mind. But I felt that they weren’t my ones, that they seemed to be from another source. I was feeling extremely unstable, and I knew I needed help of some kind. However, through years of experience, I managed to hold myself together.

I rang her up the following Tuesday at her house, after coming from another session with Ian working on my shoulder. Renee wasn’t at work as Ian had let her go home early. No doubt to avoid me. For a while, all I got was the answering machine, which I hung up on as I didn’t trust that she would get the message. Finally, I got through to Veronica, and left a message with her. She didn’t ring back, so I rang her up at work the next morning.

The first thing she asked if I had hung up on the answering machine several times. It was asked in such a way that I knew that she’d make an issue of it, so I told her ‘no’, as I didn’t want to get off the point, which was reconciliation.

She wasn’t that much friendlier, and claimed that my behaviour was ‘over the top’. We came to a partial understanding, but it was false ground, as she refused to see my point of view. I thought that the least that she owed me was an explanation, but that wasn’t going to come. I also told her that I felt that I had been under severe psychic attack, and I wasn’t beating it. I told her that I felt that I needed her help to beat it. I’m not sure why I said that. Maybe I was hoping she might come around. She didn’t comment, and I felt that she wasn’t about to help. I had also felt that perhaps Cath would be able to help me with this problem, so I asked Renee for the number. She said that she didn’t have it on her, but would give it next time she spoke to me. She then thanked me for ringing, and said she’d contact me before Friday. I didn’t expect her to, and she didn’t.

I also realized that if I was going to get Cath’s number, I’d have to do it myself. So I rang directory assistance and got the number that way as there was only one with her last name in the suburb she lived in. I rang her up, and made an appointment for the following Tuesday. She seemed to sense that I was at a crisis point, and told me that if I couldn’t handle it, not to play the martyr, and contact her.

The next healing circle was that Saturday, and I felt that I would find the solution to my problem from it. Upon arriving, I found that I was the first there. Maria, the host came in shortly after, and soon Renee and Natalie turned up, both bearing flowers, ironically!

I asked how they both were, but all I got were grunted answers. I then told Renee that I was feeling horrible, and I said that I was asking for help, here.

She turned around and accused me of expecting everyone to solve my own problems, and that I was trying to pass my own responsibilities onto other people such as Cath and the circle. I countered that if I had taken that attitude with her when she was sinking in her previous house, she would have been finished. Something she’s acknowledge herself. “That was different,” she returned.  “No it wasn’t,” I replied. She refused to help me point blank, but somehow I didn’t expect her to.

As the circle began, I asked the group for help and explained about the flowers, which was foremost on my mind, leaving Renee’s name right out of it. One lovely lady, Gabrielle, explained to me that the joy was in giving the flowers, and how the receiver reacted to them was their problem, not mine. Suddenly, I realized that I had been feeling very guilty over the way Renee had reacted, and just like a door slamming against the cold, harsh, wind, the attack ceased!

I suddenly felt free, and I was back in control. As the circle continued, I looked at Renee, and my inner voice said: There’s the source of your attack!

As the conversation continued about the flowers, Renee piped up and identified herself as the receiver. A rather dumb thing to do in my opinion. She said that I wouldn’t leave her alone. I had made a dozen phone calls, and I was invading her personal space. Yeah, right, Renee, and no doubt I spent the entire week stalking you, too. Strangely enough, no one seemed to take much notice of this, and in fact, a fortnight later, one of the ladies told me that she thought it was very rude of her not to at least acknowledge the flowers and said that she was a mixed up kid.

Anyway, after the circle, Natalie came up to me, and asked how I was feeling. I told her that I was feeling much better, and I explained that I understood why I had reacted in the way I had. She said that I should be telling Renee that. I said I planned to.

In fact, my plan was to see just how far she would go. I would give over all the way, and accept the entire blame, and see if she would be friendly once more. She avoided me, but I asked her for a couple of minutes of her time.

I explained that I now saw her point of view, and that I was sorry, and it wouldn’t happen again. But was she interested in knowing why I did it? She said ‘no, she didn’t want to hear it now and probably wouldn’t want to in the future either.’ She then asked me about the answering machine once more. This time I freely admitted it was me. She went ape, and said that I shouldn’t have lied to her. I calmly explained that we’ve both lied, and she denied that she ever had. I mentioned the confest but she adamantly denied that was a lie. Not that she convinced me.

So, I said that I would like things to go back to the way they were before, with us just being friends. She said that ‘she forgave me’, but she wasn’t going to put up with me ‘blowing hot and cold’ and she wasn’t going to put up with ‘my lying.’ Me, blowing hot and cold? What fantasy world was she living in!

And all this from a person who barely an hour ago was going on to the circle about unconditional love and friendship.

So, I asked her for a hug, just to see her reaction. From the look on her face, I saw that only in her worst nightmares would it happen. This confirmed what I knew all along. This was much, much, much bigger than her personal space. She had lost control of something, and her actions were almost evil. She actually wanted me to be hurt, but even that the point, hadn’t worked out what was really going on.

I moved away, saying that it was her space, and I respected it, and maintained my balance. In fact, I was feeling pretty good, and Renee had lost the power to affect how I felt.

In any case, the fact was that I had done everything to make sure that the problem wasn’t on my side. Naturally, I expected her to distort the facts to the others, though I thought they’d have to be blind not to notice that anything was wrong with her. Just one look at her face told the story.

After that, I felt that seeing Cath wasn’t really necessary, but I decided to do it anyway, in case she was able to say something enlightening. At the time, I was reading the 10th insight, and something was connecting for me. I was beginning to feel very peaceful and secure. And I finally realized that if I waited for outside circumstances to be perfect before I was happy, I’d be waiting all my life. I also realized that I was being well guided, and that I had nothing to fear or worry about. And with that, I stopped being co-dependent on others for my circumstances, and I felt happy.

On Tuesday, Cath rang and told me she had to post phone the appointment until the next day.

Later on during work, MJ  rang me up to confirm a course date on Kinesiology that I was taking on the 8th of June.

After she had done that, there was a pause, and she asked if I had seen Renee lately. I said not since the healing circle, and she then told me that she had been getting very strong warnings that I was in danger, and had been sending powerful prayers my way. She also said that Renee had been attacking her, and her business was suffering and she could lose the house. Personally, though, I thought that blaming only Renee was denying that her business practices weren’t up to snuff. Truth was that MJ left herself open to that kind of attack. Despite all she had gone through, and everything that had been said and done, she still was too egotistical, unaccountable and greedy. Also, she was too detached for my own liking. I remember when I passed on a small Christmas present from my mother to her during one of my first sessions, she took it and didn’t even pass back a thank you or show any appreciation. It was very cold and impersonal. And Renee gave her a Christmas card, but instead of saying thanks, she just stated that she had no intentions of sending any out herself.

Anyway, in regards to her business, I told her that I was aware of this, and that something had gone wrong with Renee, and she had lost control. MJ suggested that there was little we could do, and to wait until she burned out. I had been getting a similar message saying that she would ‘crash and burn’.

The thing that worried MJ, though, was that Natalie had just given two weeks notice by leaving a letter in the mailbox, and she was fearful that Renee was corrupting her, as Natalie was very innocent. To tell you the truth, the unhealthy obsession with Natalie did make me feel a little concerned for her, too. But I felt that she wasn’t stupid, and would eventually see past Renee.

I told MJ that I was fine, now, and I would let her know if I found out something more concrete.

It also finally occurred to me that I was ever only under attack, initially, when in the presence of Renee. I suspect that this was because she, herself, was attacking MJ, and perhaps, even me.

The next night, I saw Cath, and told her the story, naming names after a while. She said that Renee was on a spiritual path, and sometimes people flip flop. She assured me that I had done the right things, and my actions were in no way wrong. But there was nothing I could do to help her. It was her problem. I still knew that she was still in serious danger, but it wasn’t up to me to correct the problems. She charged me $60.00, which considering I helped save her life, I thought was a bit steep. Especially as all I did was talk to her.

The next fortnight went well. The connection was stable, and I was feeling at peace for around 90% of the time, which is really something for me. Every morning I would acknowledge my problems, and pass them on to the universe  to take care of them.

There was no contact from Renee. The next healing circle came, and I wondered how she would react to my presence there.

I normally left at 2:30 p.m. to get there, and I decided to get a brief sleep at 1:45, as I was suddenly feeling very tired. When I got up shortly after, I found a message on my answering machine. It was from Renee.

Hi, this is a message for Gary , it’s Renee calling. Um, just ringing regarding circle, Maria ask me to call you and advise you that today’s circle would be, um, for women only. Um, I don’t know what she’s got in store, but she did ask me to mention that to you, and it will also be the last one for a while. So, when I speak to you in the future, I can let you know when they’re starting up again. So, yeah, just not to go today, and I’ll speak to you soon. I’ll have to catch up. Hope you’re well. I’ll see you soon, bye.

Hmm, what a message. No circle, and she said she was going to catch up with me, soon! Bullshit, Renee! I shouted out. You’re lying! I didn't believe her message for one second. And since it was time for me to leave, I knew that I could easily claim to have missed the message and turn up anyway. I wanted to hear it from Maria’s lips. The whole idea of ‘women’s only’ seemed absurd to me, and contrary to the idea of a healing circle. And I didn’t think that they were stopping, as people loved them too much.

I arrived there before Renee, and only one lady was inside the room when I entered. I was fully prepared to be told that it was a women’s only circle, but she said nothing, except gave me her sympathies on how Renee had treated me.

Maria turned up shortly after, and gave me a welcome hug, citing that she was afraid that I might not turn up again because I was in such a bad way last time. I told her that as long as I was welcome, I would always turn up. No mention of any messages,  and certainly no mention of it being a ‘women’s  only’ thing.

Natalie turned up without Renee, who didn’t show, despite having left no message that she wouldn’t turn up. It was my belief that she would have seen my car when passing the street, and turned around and went home. She really loved the circle, and really looked forwards to it. If that was the case, talk about instant Karma!

The circle went extremely well, and I got a lot out of it. The energy was raised and we all felt fantastic about it. As for the circle stopping, Maria announced that she would be away for the next one, but they discussed having it else where. In the end, they decided that they would just have a break instead. And since she hadn’t actually spoken to Renee recently, she asked if someone could contact her and tell her.

I was a little concerned about Natalie when I saw her. She looked extremely pale, and I wondered if she was suffering because of Renee’s influence. However, I knew what I had to say to her.

I had decided to leave Renee’s message alone for the moment, and ring Maria up when I got home. I also made sure that this time she had my number, and I had hers, so she didn’t have to use Renee to pass on her messages.

It was the next day when I managed to catch her. I told her that I had received a message not to come, and she asked what the message said exactly. So I played it back to her.

She seemed taken aback, but not altogether surprised. The story was this. The previous circle, they had been talking that it was a pity that the problems of me and Renee had to come into the circle, and it was a pity that when I left, things hadn’t been sorted out. (I wonder if she mentioned that I had bent over backwards to try and sort it out?) So, I imagine that they were toying with the idea of asking me to leave the circle. But Maria told Renee that as she was the one who brought me into the circle, and as she had been in the circle from the start, she could tell me not to come any more. So, she told Maria that she would do that.

But what reason would you give to someone when you rang them up to tell them they’re not welcome any more? She had nothing to throw at me. I had given her no ammunition. So, as a last desperate resort, she concocted the women only lie, and tried to stop me from going. Of course, I found it difficult to believe that she had been so stupid as to leave the evidence on tape, a tape which I removed and kept safe!

Maria said it was a pity that Renee had brought her name into it, as she had not passed on any such message. More to the point, she was glad I had turned up, as the circle had been so wonderful. She told me that she now realized that she couldn’t invite people into the circle, and then kick them out if there was a problem, and that I was meant to come. She said that there would always be a place for me there, and, of course, for Renee.

I explained that the problem didn’t lie with me, it was with Renee. And how I had tried to resolve it all, but she didn’t want to. Maria explained that I wasn’t the only one having problems with her, and she was going through a very bad patch, but hopefully she would come out of it, and return to the circle. She also advised me to give her as much space as possible, and not to ring her. I told her there was no danger of that happening.

Renee faded away after that and was not seen again by any of the circle. She was eventually told to leave her current lodgings as she was causing problems there, too.

The interesting thing that was explained to me later on, by my guides, was, that she had been taken over at the time by the entity that had been attacking me all my life.  Apparently she had agreed to this in some other life time, and the moment she had felt something enter her at the old house was the moment of the possession.

Was it the last confrontation with that being? Well, no, there was one more which happened 4 years later, but that in itself is a very long story.

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